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Glass, Lake, Salt - The only 3 reasons we ever self sabotage

anxiety relief happiness happy life new year new me self sabotage wellness women wellbeing womens hard times Jan 11, 2022

I want to tell you the story about a woman called Amber. This story is important because it teaches us about the amount of pain in life that experience and how to get through without breaking or treating yourself like sh…. and hence self-sabotaging your efforts to be happy, healthy and strong no matter what. 


There once was a coach called Susanne who instructed an unhappy client called Amber to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it. (What is wrong with you Susanne !!! you might think J but keep reading)


"How does it taste?" Susanne asked. 


"Not good at all," spat Amber.


Susanne chuckled and then asked the woman to take another handful of salt and put it into a nearby lake. 


The two women walked in silence to the lake.  When Amber swirled her handful of salt into the lake, Susanne paused and said, "Now drink from the lake."


As the water dripped down the Ambers chin, Susanne asked, "How does it taste?" 


"Good!" remarked Amber. 


"Do you taste the salt?"  


"No," said Amber.


Susanne sat beside her troubled client Amber and said: 


"The pain of life is pure salt, no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same.  But the amount we taste that pain depends on the container we put it into. So, when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things.  Stop being a glass.  Become a lake.”


Do you like that story? I am telling you this story because I know that your life possibly has some salt in it too. If your life has been a little bit like mine, you might have experienced a lot of anxiety, health stuff, relationship stuff, sickness, death and other losses. Maybe you have felt lost and alone, maybe nobody even knows. Because you hide these things well from others and you go about your days doing what you have always done. 


But deep underneath is this crippling feeling of fear that never goes away. Maybe you have set some new intentions for this new 22 and maybe you have broken them already. You are not alone, you are totally normal and in fact you are in great company but that does not mean all is lost.


What are your ‘goals’ for 2022? I would love to hear, email me back and let me know. Was it to eat healthier, to not have that third glass of wine at night, to get up earlier and go for a walk every day? Do you feel when you do all these things you will finally be happy? When you have the lost that pesky midlife spread, or found a man that makes you happy or fixed the relationships you have? Here is the truth, you won’t be unless you change from glass to lake thinking and fix the self-sabotage for good once and for all. 


Let me share with you the ONLY 3 REASONS why you might be stuck in the cycle of “setting the resolution - sabotaging yourself - feeling worse - setting new or the same resolution ……... (wash, rinse and repeat …. you get the drift)”


It is your fear of being 








This is BIG! Take a moment to think about these fears in your own life.

It was the same for Amber, she had never felt worthy or felt loved unconditionally but together we worked on healing these three fears. I taught her new tools and techniques she used every day to change her old BS feelings and thoughts. 


It was a hard road for Amber, she had normal setbacks but she persevered. I am happy to report that she is out there now every weekend hiking with new friends from a hiking group she finally felt confident to join after wanting to do it for years and nagging her husband to join. Her husband Jo is a little bit rattled at the moment because she is not filling her emotional needs anymore with Netflix and wine at night but talking to new friends and planning new trips.


Her glass and yours still fills up with Salt. The pains and challenges of life never stop but it’s up to you if you are finally ready to embark on the journey to deep dive into your own Inner World and want to change so bad that nothing will stand in your way. 


I can be the guide that helps you through, to hold the torch and light the way, holding your hand when you need it, being your cheerleader when you need cheering on. I hope this story inspired you a little.


Send me an email [email protected] and let’s have a chat on how working with me could look like for you. I would love to hear your thoughts.  If you have made it to the end and want to go it alone for a the time being, I also have a little gift for you. Download my free Habit Changer E-book with this link.




Susanne McAllister

Mindful Holistic Coaching and Therapy






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